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Unicornia

A Unicorn Short Story

By

Grace Risata



Copyright © February 11, 2017 by Grace Risata

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.



Chapter One – A night on the town…

I looked at myself in the rear view mirror one last time before I walked into to the dilapidated bar.

Not too shabby. Let me be the first to tell you that I was quite easy on the eyes. My head was adorned with thick, dark hair that the ladies couldn’t resist touching. I gazed at them with piercing brown eyes as if to convey to one fortunate broad that she was the sole center of all my attention. Did I mention my body? I was ripped. When you to go the gym every night, you get results.

With one last spritz of cologne and a quick sniff of my pits, I was ready to rock and roll.

I needed a welcome diversion to release some stress after a hard week slaving away at Napier, Valis, and Whitfield Incorporated.

Yes, you read that correctly. I was an intern at one of the most prestigious law firms in the state, if not the entire country. Although I had been at the company for only a year, I didn’t think it would be long before I moved up in the ranks and took top status among my peers.

I had no doubt that I, Michael Willows, would be going places.

For now, though, the only place I cared to be was inside some lucky lady’s panties.

When you’re as suave as I am, the women tend to flock around like fangirls at a rock concert.

Ah, enough of this pep talk. I’m sexy and I know it. Time to share the love with a fine looking female or two. I’m not ruling anything out tonight. I was definitely going to take someone home with me…all the better if she had a friend to bring along for the ride.



Chapter Two – Meet and Greet

I walked into the bar and took a quick look around, assessing the scene and being careful to choose among the buffet of eye candy that was available.

Hmm.

Not impressed at all so far. I can make out a few women standing over by the jukebox, cackling like witches. It’s not the easiest maneuver in the world to insert yourself into the middle of a crowd and try to get one girl off to the side. Sure, it can be done, but it takes too much effort and I’m not about spending all night in this shithole. My intent was to get in, pick a winner, get out, and then let the REAL fun begin.

For a Saturday night, this place isn’t very crowded at all. I might have to cross it off my list of bars to find an easy piece of ass.

Wait.

Wait just a minute.

What have we here?

I just spotted a beauty sitting at the bar with her back to me. This could be risky because I can’t see her face. If I tap her on the shoulder and she looks like the identical twin of Frankenstein, I’ll just bail, apologize, and tell her I got her confused with someone else.

I sent up a silent prayer that this chick’s front is even half as solid as her backside. My future fuck buddy has long, straight snow-white hair that falls down her back leading straight to an ass that I want to get to know better.

I’ve never seen a girl with such light colored hair before. She reminds me of that dragon bitch from the Game of Thrones. I’ve jerked off to her on more than one occasion. Maybe this beauty in front of me will agree to a little role playing.

Time to make my move.

I walked around to the front of her and gave off a killer smile, one of my signature moves guaranteed to make her melt at my feet.

Holy fuck! This girl is the complete and total package. Her front is even more breathtaking than I could have imagined. The most intense gray eyes sparkled at me as I approached. But that’s not what caught my attention.

I was struck speechless by her tits. The rack on this honey was at least three handfuls’ worth…and I had big hands. I should mention that I had a super-sized cock too. Everything on me was jumbo. Extra-large. Giant. What can I say? I was first in line when the universe passed out gifts.

“Hello,” I murmured, flashing her one hypnotizing smile that showcased my pearly whites. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? You should be in Los Angeles modeling for Vogue, baby!”

“I’m trying to find a donor to fill me with his virile semen, so that I may be able to return to my planet and share the harvest with my fellow sisters,” she replied, nonchalantly.

Okay.

Not quite the answer I was expecting.

Let me take a step back and rethink this whole situation.

I was staring at one of the hottest chicks I had ever seen in my life. She just might happen to be bat-shit crazy. This wouldn’t be the first time I’d banged a weirdo. As a matter of fact, they tended to be the wildest in bed.

So…the fact that she thought she might be from another planet was actually not a deal-breaker. Not yet, anyway.

“That’s a pretty interesting story, sweetheart,” I admitted, forcing myself to keep a straight face. “Have you found any donors yet?”

“No,” she pouted. “I’ve only talked to a few potential candidates, but they didn’t seem interested in my offer of copulation. Perhaps they desire something more than I’m able to give.”

“I’m very interested in this idea of yours, honey. Can you tell me more?”

Her eyes lit up at the amount of attention I was giving her and she began her proposal.

“My name is Theta and I’m from the planet Unicornia. We have a shortage of men to mate with the women and, as a result, our species is becoming inbred. I was tasked with teleporting to Earth and finding compatible seed to return to my homeland.”

Wow. Did I say she was bat-shit crazy? Let’s change that to certifiably insane. However, if she was looking for seed, I could totally help her with that.

“I’m very interested, Theta. What can I do to help?”

“I would have to ask you to get naked so I could determine if your genes would be suitable. Then we would begin the breeding process. It’s actually quite simple.”

Ah, here’s the kicker. I wonder what her definition of ‘the breeding process’ entailed. Did this broad expect to do some bizarre ritual like dance naked in the moonlight and just kiss a little bit? Or was my cock, and her sucking on it, somehow involved?

“I’m afraid that I’m not familiar with Unicornia or any breeding procedure. Could you tell me all the details, please?”

“As I said, it’s not complex at all. I would bend over and you would insert your male anatomy part into my feminine entrance until your hot seed spilled out rapidly, thus inseminating me.”

“That sounded very scientific,” I said. Theta was not good at the dirty talk.

“I’m sorry. I should put it in terms that a human can better understand. I would like to invite you to fuck me senseless, shoving your rock hard cock into my slick pussy. You will thrust into me harder and harder, going faster and deeper, until you explode and your jets of cum threaten to overflow my eager cunt. Is that description more to your liking?”

Oh shit. If I was an amateur, I would have just come in my pants from hearing her talk like that. Fortunately, I managed to control myself.

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Theta,” I squeaked in voice that I didn’t even recognize as coming out of my mouth. “Let’s go do that, okay?”

“I should warn you, though. My offer comes at a price,” she confessed.

What? Was she a hooker or something? Was this her way of enticing customers to pay up? I didn’t care what she charged. There was no chance I was passing up a night with this bitch.

“I’ll pay your price. Let’s get out of here and you can show me how the Unicornians fuck.”

So that’s exactly what we did.



Chapter Three – Breeding the Unicorn

I helped Theta off her bar stool, like the gentleman that I am, and escorted her out to my car.

Ok, it’s not really “my” car per se. My sweet 1995 Honda Accord is currently having her engine replaced, so I’m in possession of a rental car. I decided to splurge because I earned it.

“Is this your unit of transportation?” Theta asked, eyes growing wide in appreciation of the Corvette that sat shining before us.

“Yes, it is. Are you impressed?”

I didn’t even have to ask that question. Chicks got wet for hot cars. And for the guys who drove them.

“I adore the color. White is my favorite. It reminds me of my homeland. All of the unicorns are white. A few separatist rebels dyed themselves pink in protest of the uniformity laws, but that revolution quickly got snuffed out. Supreme Leader Tivanka Brump leads with an iron fist.”

Okay. Let’s get this over with. This lady is definitely sexy as hell to look at, but once she opens her mouth and actual words come out…let’s just say it’s killing my boner in a major way.

I opened the door for her and raced around to my side of the car. The next problem that I needed to solve was beginning to weigh on my mind. Where could I take this nutcase for a quick roll in the hay?

“Please drive me somewhere off the beaten path,” she requested. “We’re under a full moon and I need optimum mating conditions. I must be outside, in the open air, under the moon. The waves of energy from Unicornia must filter down to my vagina for maximum breeding results.”

This lady was an absolute lunatic. I was getting really close to kicking her ass out of the car or asking if she’d taken her meds today.

But I couldn’t do it.

If I didn’t see this through…and find out what would happen next…I would never be able to live with myself. My curiosity won out over my sense of self-preservation.

“I know a great spot that’s about five minutes outside of town. There’s a beautiful forest where I’ve gone on picnics with lovely ladies such as yourself,” I offered.

It was really a dinky little rest area that was a favorite stop among truckers that needed to take a shit or get out and stretch their legs. However, I had no intention of telling that to Miss Fruitcake.

We continued in silence on the short drive to our destination. I was extremely thankful I’d never shared my name with her. There was no way in hell I needed her showing up on my doorstep one day for a repeat performance of whatever was about to happen.

This chick was definitely a ‘one-and-done’ kind of girl.

I parked the car and Theta leaped out, immediately running off into the trees next to the truck stop.

Wonderful.

I had to get mosquito bites chasing after this bitch?

Hell no.

If she wanted to get my virile semen, she better get her ass back here.

“Theta…” I called out, “Over here, honey!”

I took a leisure stroll behind the brick shithouses and stumbled upon a clearing of sorts. It was my luck to find the place deserted, yet completely illuminated by the full moon. This would come in handy in case anyone tried to sneak up on us while I got my freak on.

Theta came bounding up next to me and starting barking out orders.

“Take off all your clothes so that I may examine your body. I also need to analyze a sample of your fertilizer.”

“My what?”

“Your reproductive fluid,” she explained. “I need to test it to make sure that it’s fertile.”

Did she expect me to jerk off into a cup? Was there some hidden laboratory I didn’t know about? You’ve got to be kidding me!

“How would that work?” I asked with hesitation. If she didn’t start doing something to impress me, I was going to abandon this whole operation.

“I must take your reproductive rod into my mouth and extract a sample. In layman’s terms, I need to suck your dick and see what comes out.”

Fuck yeah. Now we’re talking. I’m fully on board with anything that involves dick sucking.

I looked around one last time making sure no one was peeping on the show I was about to perform. Then I got naked.

Theta ooh’d and aah’d over my sculpted body, which came as no surprise to me. When you have the physique of a chiseled body-builder, you become accustomed to such adoration and praise. Theta did spend an extra amount of time poking and prodding at my shoulders, but I didn’t question it.

I must have passed her first test, because she dropped to her knees and took my cock in her mouth.

Oh, what a mouth it was. Her pouty lips wrapped around my junk and she managed to deep throat my whole eight inches. Theta sucked and slurped like a thirsty dog at a water bowl.

Now THIS was more like it.

Until she abruptly stopped.

What the hell? I wanted more of that.

“What’s wrong, sugar? Keep going. My cock liked that. You want him happy, don’t you? He needs to be happy in order to pollinate your flower.”

“I can’t risk having you ejaculate into my mouth. I need to be inseminated vaginally.”

She turned around and got down on all fours, lifting up her skirt and giving me an amazing view of her naked ass.

Okay. I can roll with this.

“Now I’m going to need you to fill me up with your sperm. Pump away at me as hard and fast as you can. I want every last drop,” she begged.

I was more than happy to oblige.

“Let me just get a condom, and we can get this party started,” I mumbled while digging around to find some protection.

“WHAT?!” she shouted. “Absolutely NOT. I must harvest the seed!”

Wow. She was definitely taking this whole alien unicorn role-playing thing pretty serious. I never banged random girls without slipping on a raincoat. Theta looked clean, so I wasn’t too concerned about disease. It was the pregnancy thing that worried me. I didn’t know this bitch. What if she was looking to trap a guy into supporting her and some kid for the next eighteen years? I was going places in my life. There was no way I was being tied down like that.

“Aren’t you going to fuck me?” Theta pouted, sticking out her lower lip and giving me sad eyes. “I’m so hot and wet for you.”

She was obviously trying to seal the deal and make me forget about the condom.

Theta took off her top and began to fondle her giant breasts with one hand, while the other reached around back and started to play with her pussy.

So…worst case scenario…let’s say she DID get knocked up. I never told her my name and it’s not like she can trace my car license plates because it’s a rental…

I thrust my rigid member into Theta and began pounding away as if my life depended on it.

“Yes,” she begged, “Just like that! Fuck me harder…more…yes!”

I banged away at her like a jackhammer. This shit was fucking amazing. Theta was tight as a virgin and so damn wet. Dream pussy is what this was. I grabbed her ass and kept on screwing.

She began to make weird noises and I actually considered stopping to see if she was alright. It reminded me of the neighing sound that a horse makes. Or a whinny. Or whatever the fuck it’s called when a horse starts being vocal.

Obviously she was enjoying herself or she wouldn’t be carrying on so loudly.

“Do you want me to fuck you in the ass, Theta? Were you a bad girl?”

She turned around and screeched, “You will breed with me exactly in this position until your seed is overflowing from my womanly reproductive parts! Do not stop until the task is complete!”

Her eyes took on a weird glow to them and I started to get freaked out. What the hell? Had she somehow put in different colored contact lenses when I wasn’t paying attention?

Theta again faced forward and I grabbed her hair and pulled. If she wanted to be treated like a horse...um…unicorn…then I would comply. I tugged on her hair as if using it as a rein, and said, “HYAH!” like I was a cowboy at a rodeo.

She began to moan and arch her back to meet me thrust for thrust. Theta was certainly getting into this; I had to give her credit for that.

I tried to hold out, enjoying the sensation of her juicy pussy constricting around my stiff cock, but I couldn’t take it any longer.

I erupted into Theta, crying out as my release overwhelmed me.

That had to have been the sexiest body I’d ever nailed.

I rolled over into the grass and closed my eyes, needing a quick second to catch my breath. Holy balls, that was intense.

Now I just had to come up with a way to get rid of her. If she thought we were spooning, she was in for a rude awakening.

I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and immediately sat up, ready to fend off my attacker.

What I did not expect to find, was the sight of Theta sinking her sharp teeth into my flesh.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I screamed, pushing her away and rubbing my shoulder.

“That was a necessary finish to the breeding process. You must be marked so that no other unicorns try and mate with you. We need to keep the gene pool diverse,” she explained, licking her lips.

Great. Forget worrying about an STD…I was going to contract unicorn rabies. Fuck my life. I guess this is karma paying me back for fucking random women that I meet at bars.

Before I could further protest being bitten, Theta pulled out a golden flask and greedily drank from it, as though her thirst was unquenchable.

I would bet any money she was chugging some top shelf liquor and I wanted in on that action.

“What have you got there, angel?” I asked. “Don’t be rude…didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?”

“I never knew my mother,” she replied without emotion, “she was slaughtered during the leprechaun uprising more than a century ago.”

Okay then! Alien unicorns AND leprechauns? This girl was a real piece of work. Whoever was acting as her psychiatrist was clearly NOT doing a very good job.

“No man has ever asked to share my liquid ambrosia. There’s no telling what might happen. It would be an interesting experiment, though,” she declared while passing me the flask.

At this point, what did I really have to lose by drinking this shit? There was no way it was anything toxic since Theta had just poured half the flask down her throat and she hadn’t collapsed into convulsions yet. Besides, my curiosity was getting the better of me. I had to find out what was in the flask, just so I could prove that it was average Earth alcohol and not some alien concoction.

I took the flask and carefully inhaled, trying to decipher the scent. I was treated to a fragrant aroma that appeared to be fruity and woodsy at the same time. Intriguing.

I nodded my head at Theta and took a small sip of the drink.

It was magnificent! I had never tasted anything so wonderful in my entire life. I hastily polished off the remainder of the heavenly brew. The way it flowed down my throat, leaving behind a trail of heat mixed with a tingling sensation, was something I had never experienced before!

“You are a very brave man, Michael Willows. I admire your courage and willingness to undertake such an endeavor. It’s just a shame I can’t stay longer and observe your transformation.”

What the fuck? I never told this bitch my name! Did I? No. If anything, I would have given her an alias. I try to stay incognito at the bar. There’s nothing worse than banging some babe and have her go all stalker on your ass. I’m all about remaining anonymous.

Shit. Was there something else that I should be paying attention to? Did she say something about a transformation? I was starting to get light headed and a little bit woozy.

“Did you d-d-drug me, baby?” I mumbled, beginning to slur my words. “What was in the…the…um…the bottle thingee that I just drank from?”

“That was a special elixir designed to help me follow the moonbeams back to Unicornia and aid in my transformation.”

She stood, smiled down at me, and removed her skirt and heels. Theta raised her arms to the sky, began to glow, and recited an incantation.

“Unicornia please call me back home…on Earth I must not be stuck…I return to you full of seed…after a night in which I did fuck. Grant me a moonbeam to show me the way…make it swift while my pussy is warm…let me shed my human skin…and return to my natural form!”

Theta got down on all fours and began to make strange noises. It reminded me of the time I heard a pair of feral cats mating outside my window.

Within a matter of seconds, Theta was gone. A giant white horse stood in the spot where she had been mere moments before.

“What the fuck?”

The horse spun around to face me, and bowed down at the knee. It nodded its head in some sort of odd salute and then galloped off toward the trees.

It didn’t make it to the trees.

Halfway there, the giant motherfucking white horse just disappeared.

Right into thin air.

Like I was watching David Motherfucking Blaine perform some serious magic.

I finally figured out how to move again, and I got up and hauled ass to my car.

Theta drugged me. That flask was full of LSD, PCP, or some sort of wild mushroom juice and I was hallucinating. There was no other explanation for it. No way rationalize the giant horn that had come out of her head. Just like a unicorn.



Chapter Four – New and Improved…

I slowly regained consciousness and licked my lips. Damn. This was the driest dry mouth that I had ever had. What the hell happened last night? I must have gotten completely hammered.

I didn’t want to open my eyes, because I could already tell it was daytime. I had a feeling that bright sunshine would not go over well with my ragged ass. Hangovers were the worst, and this one felt completely epic if my headache was any indication. Forget headache, this royal bitch was a grade A migraine.

I carefully cracked my eyes, being careful not to open them fully. I needed to figure out where I was and whose bed I might be in. Better not make too much noise in case I had to tip toe out of here without waking up some strange woman.

My car? I’m in my rental car? What the hell am I doing here? I must have known I was drunk and not wanted to drive, so I slept in my car. That explains it. I’m so fucking genius that I’m even making wise choices when I’m completely sloshed. I never cease to amaze myself.

Wait a fucking minute. What am I doing at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere?

Holy balls! It’s all coming back to me now!

Crazy unicorn woman…fucking like animals to fill her with my seed so she could breed unicorn babies! What the crap was in the flask that I drank from? That caused one HELL of a trip last night. Damn. If I could mass produce and sell that tonic, I would be a billionaire.

However, the hangover today was really kicking my ass.

This headache. I’ve never had a pounding, searing pain so completely overwhelm me like this.

I brought my hand up to massage my temple, and then ran it through my hair in an effort to comb my wild mane.

But my hand didn’t go through my hair.

There was one small obstacle blocking it.

No.

No fucking way.

One look in the mirror confirmed what I was slowly coming to realize.

A three inch horn had poked its way out of the top of my head.

I was a fucking unicorn!

“NOOOOOOO!”



Other books…



If you enjoyed this story and the characters, please continue reading to find out what other crazy shit I’ve written…

Grace Risata Bio and Author Contact Info….

I would first and foremost like to thank everyone for taking the time to give my stories a chance. My goal is to take you out of your world, and all the stresses that go along with everyday life, and bring you in to my world of romance and fantasy. I have a special weakness for hot alpha males and the feisty heroines who love them. Above all else, I hope you got a laugh out of my book. I aim to incorporate as much comedy into my romance as is humanly possible.

My professional biography is as follows (I’m not sure why it’s in the third person, evidently that’s the rule): Grace is happiest when reading, eating Portillos hot dogs, and patiently waiting for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Find me on Goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14888691.Grace_Risata

Or check out my website and follow my blog:

https://gracerisata.wordpress.com/

Thank you for reading and please feel free to contact me or leave a review wherever you found this story.

MY OTHER WORKS OF CRAZINESS AND HUMOR:

My Dirty Detour

A dominant leader flees the mafia, looking for a fresh start in a small town.  He put all his effort into starting a business and resigned himself to a life without love. 

A neurotic germaphobe lives vicariously through the books she reads, preferring to play it safe in real life and hide behind her sarcastic remarks.

I am NOT that neurotic!  I just have germ issues and I tend to over-analyze things.  Sure, I second guess myself all the time and have a tendency to freak out over the small stuff.  I’ll admit that I do ask a lot of “what if…?” questions.  Fine.  I’m neurotic.”

One fateful day, the simple act of taking a wrong turn leads Violet right into Rocky’s life and completely turns it upside down.  Accustomed to his orders being obeyed immediately and without question, Rocky doesn’t appreciate Violet challenging his authority at every opportunity.  

I don’t like being told what to do.  Especially when some arrogant tough guy thinks he can boss me around.  I might have argued with him just to keep him close.  He smelled like heaven. Although with a body like his, I knew he was no angel.

Violet charmed her way into his heart with her quick wit and stubbornness, causing Rocky to fail at his many attempts to resist her.

He’d never met anyone like me before.  I trash talk, curse like a sailor, and pretty much say whatever’s on my mind.  Life is too short to pretend to be something that you’re not.”

Rocky tries to keep his violent past hidden from Violet, but it suddenly catches up to him and he can no longer deny who he really is.  Will Rocky turn his back on the life he built or stay and fight for what’s his?  When Violet is faced with situations that rival anything she’s merely read about, will she be able to face her fears and work together with Rocky or will the truth tear them apart?

It’s one hell of a wild ride! Take a look inside the first few pages and I’ll tell you all about it.” 

This is a full length, stand-alone novel with no cliffhangers. No cheating, no love triangles, no insta-love. It does have a HEA.


Nights in the Fast Lane

Dane and Izzy.

Complete opposites.

As the New Year begins, they find themselves facing very different circumstances.

Dane is a street racer stuck with a blown engine, no money, and no options after he gets fired for saving a damsel in distress.

Izzy can’t believe she was just rescued by the same handsome stranger she walks past, and lusts after, on a daily basis. With a massive blizzard about to bury the town, she ends up taking him in for the night.

Sparks fly when she brings out his playful side, and he shows her a passion she’s never known before.

As they slowly begin to trust each other, walls come down and tragic pasts emerge. Dane is haunted by the family he never had, while Izzy will stop at nothing to deny her birthright.

When Dane receives an offer he can’t refuse, will one bad decision cost him everything? Or will fate intervene and send these two down the path they were destined for?

This is a full length, stand-alone novel with no cliffhangers. Please be advised that you will find strong language, attractive men with tattoos, a dog with a cat name, steamy bedroom scenes including one involving Doritos, plenty of character backstory, and a very healthy dose of humor.



Mowed: An Erotic BBW Comedy Romance

Curvy girl Pepper is accustomed to flying under everyone’s radar. Being a big girl hasn’t led to many dates or exciting adventures. All of that was about to change.

Through the small-town rumor mill, Pepper learns her old teenage crush just moved back to town. Jason was the star quarterback, prom king, and also Pepper’s neighbor from across the street.

One day he sees Pepper out mowing the lawn and makes her an offer of no-strings attached, no-holds barred sex that has the potential to benefit them both.

Nothing quite turns out the way either of them thought it would.

Click to look inside and find out what happens when the simple act of mowing the lawn turns into so much more…

WARNING: This story contains a plentiful amount of graphic sex scenes (over EIGHT of them…yes, I counted…including ones involving Barbeque Sauce, Pirates, Ice Cubes, and Handcuffs). They are all M/F and absolutely consensual. If you’re looking for a sick, twisted, dark tale – please go elsewhere, you will NOT find it here. All my stories come with a guarantee that you will crack a smile, find a happily-ever-after ending, and never have to deal with an annoying cliffhanger. There’s also no cheating, no love triangles, no unicorns, and no murder. 


UNGRANTED WISHES: A Paranormal Comedy Romance

It would be putting it mildly to say that full-figured Cleo Welch was in a funk. Dead end job? Check. Bank account? Running low. Sex life? Non-existent.

Her luck took a turn for the better when she stumbled upon a magic brass pot at a rummage sale. After getting drunk and rubbing things the right way, Cleo found herself in possession of one extremely attractive genie who was very grateful to be released.

What’s a girl to do when a four thousand year old genie is far more interested in satisfying her every desire, rather than granting any of her wishes? Well…she does the genie. That’s a no-brainer!

WARNING: This full length novel contains quite a few explicit sex scenes (including ones involving candy that explodes, a dirty talking detective, and an ancient ritual performed with raspberries). Every scene is absolutely consensual between all parties involved. All my stories come with a guarantee that you will crack a smile, find a happily-ever-after ending, and never have to deal with an annoying cliffhanger. There’s also no cheating, no billionaires, no bigfoot sightings, and plenty of character backstory.


My Dirty Crown

Short story set in the world of My Dirty Detour.

They told me to go shopping with them. They were simply making a few quick stops to pick up a birthday present for a friend. No big deal, right?

I should have known better. Nothing with this group ever goes quite as planned. One minute I’m minding my own business, thinking I’m about to have a quiet date night with my boyfriend, but the next thing you know I’m shooting a crossbow and getting involved in the most bizarre beauty pageant I’ve ever seen.

NOTE: This 14,000 word short story tells the tale of one night of adventure when a quirky woman joins her ex-mafia friends for a very memorable experience. This story is set in the “My Dirty Detour” world, however it is not necessary to have read that book in order to understand this story. Please be advised, there is vulgar language. This is a stand-alone story with plenty of humor, crazy characters, and NO cliffhanger.








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