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Unexpected First Time

By Isa Adam

Copyright@2018 by Isa Adam

Smashwords Edition

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

It is intended only for adults over the age of 18 and all characters are represented as 18 or over.

It always grew quiet whenever I walked into a room. At first, I'd tried to convince myself that it was all in my head but after a while I found myself accepting the hard truth. They all went quiet because they felt sorry for me. Being such a small town everyone knew what had happened to me and couldn't help but look at me dumbly whenever they saw me as if patiently awaiting the day I would break down. I had to admit that that day didn't seem very far off. However, I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.

This trip to the dinner was no different. Immediately I walked in, they all went quiet. I looked around daring anyone to come up to me but as usual no one ever did. The pathetic bunch of cowards wouldn't even say what they were thinking to my face. They all fixed their gazes on their tables clearly afraid of the man the pitied. I couldn't blame them. A look at myself in the mirror the other day had me frightened. I looked so unlike the man who had left this same town ten years ago with an aim to do his duty to his country. I had been a young cheerful youth back then with a head full of golden hair as I had seen in many of my pictures. Always having a reason to smile. However, time had not been kind to me. My body had become massive a huge difference to the lean man I had used to be. A few scars ran across my body with a more notable one across my cheek. My once bright blue eyes seemed to have dimmed portraying only anger and agony and my head of blonde hair had grown grayer despite still being a young man. All this was the price I had to pay for ten hard years of sacrifice and yet I had nothing to show for it. The price I had long awaited while away from home had been snatched away from me ruthlessly.

I found my way to the back of the room where my usual table awaited me. I'd taken to the habit of sitting here away from the curious eyes that surrounded me. Still, I always noted with little amusement the looks they threw my way when they didn't think I was listening. Their words which I sometimes caught bits of only repulsed me even more. I had to fight the urge to stand up one day and say something vile to them.

Lucia, the tiny waitress, seemed to have spotted my entrance. It wasn't difficult when the sun seemed to shine a lot less brighter in my presence. She made her way to me a huge genuine smile gracing her face. A smile unlike anyone had ever shown me since I'd come back 'home'. I watched the sway of her wide hips and inside me a strange feeling arose. It went as fast as it had come when Lucia stood right across from me.

"It's nice to see you again," she said cheerfully. I grunted in response clearly showing that I was clearly not interested in having a conversation with the ebony beauty in front of me. As if noting this, she huffed before finally taking a pencil from behind her ear. However, I knew this wasn't a sign that she'd given up on me.

"What's your order?" she asked her smile being replaced by a frown. I raised my eyebrow at her and as if getting the hint rushed away to the kitchen clearly flustered. She had to have realized by now that I ate the same thing every day. I'd been coming here for a month now after all.

I watched her disappear from my sight. I caught the look of the others briefly before they turned away again from me. They must have been thinking the same thing that I was. How was it possible that this girl could display such confidence around me when I was clearly a man on the verge of self destruction. My loud drunken nights and scandalous fight with my brother Cole should have at least told her that. However, Lucia was more than happy to risk doubts on her sanity by walking up to me every day and trying to be friendly. I'd once heard her manager call me Lucia's problem when I'd walked in. Of course the man had immediately run away from me when he'd realized I was listening to him. I couldn't help but admire Lucia. It took some guts to do what she did after all the rumors flying around about me. Especially since no other waitress would dare come bear me even if their life depended on it.

"Here you go," Lucia was back faster than I'd expected. There was no doubt in my head that she always kept my order ready before I came to the dinner. I set my eyes on the huge burger and nodded slightly in approval. Lucia must have taken that as a good sign because she wandered away with a huge smile plastered on her face.

Moments after she was gone, I was left thinking about her. Lucia had been the only person to show me kindness ever since I'd come back to this town. She was the one person who didn't treat me like I was infectious. She had to know that how I'd acted when I came back wasn't because I'd turned into an animal while I was away. Any sane man would have done the same thing I had when faced with a similar situation.

The thought of what had greeted me on my return home was still painful. I pushed aside my plate. Suddenly it seemed disgusting to me. Instead, I took a huge gulp of my beer determined not to be frightened by the dirty looks they all threw my way. They probably thought I was turning into an alcoholic and the truth was that I agreed with them to some extent. The drink seemed to calm me and each day, I found myself desperate to have the bitter burning sensation it caused down my throat. Who could blame me? I'd left this place a hopeful happy man but when I'd come back all the little happiness that had been left inside me suddenly vanished and was replaced by bitterness.

I was thinking about leaving the dinner when I saw her walk into the dinner with her blonde hair held in a tight elegant bun. Her face unlike mine was free the lines of worry. This only made me feel worse. I'd always imagined coming back home to a distraught fiancé who could hardly live without me. The dinner seemed to grow even more quiet if that was possible. She must have sensed the sudden tension on her entry because her eyes looked around her to find the cause. They landed on mine and as quickly as they had, she looked away. It infuriated me that she still couldn't face me after what they had done.

I reached for my burger this time determined to finish the whole of it. I wouldn't let them or even her see how much she affected me. I took small bites struggling all the while to keep the food down. From the corner of my eyes I could see Lucia staring at me. She seemed worried and for a moment. I appreciated her for seeing me as nothing more than a human being.

I watched in surprise as Kate took a few steps toward my table. It was hard for her but probably not as hard as it was for me. I hadn't so much as laid my eyes on her after I'd found out a few months ago. I waited fixing my eyes on her so that her steps seemed to falter. When she reached my table, she had lost all her confidence. I could practically see the struggle in her mind and it made me glad to know that she couldn't face me. At least that meant that she still had a heart. It might be charred but it was still there.

"Can I help you?" I asked the question eager to be the one in charge.

"I- I just came over to say hello," she exclaimed looking at everything else but me. Their concentration was more on us than ever before and I knew this was an incident they would talk about it for a while.

"Then you've said it," I replied harshly taking a huge bite of my burger. She cringed at my tone.

"Miles I know that I…," she started to say but then stopped abruptly probably because of the look I gave her. I'd made it clear a long time ago that the last thing I needed was to speak with her. She didn't say anything else but simply turned and walked away. I released a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding.

I know I was a bit harsh with her, but I was still hurt after what they did to me. I had trusted them and they had all turned their backs on me. I'd gone away with when I was eighteen and just out of high school with the promise to marry Kate when I came back. I had been against the idea at first seeing that it would be wrong to make her wait for me when I might not have even made it back. She deserved to be happy with someone else and I was ready to let her go for her own good. However, Kate had made me see that she loved me. That she would wait for me regardless of how long it took and how much it hurt. I'd never even touched her when I left because I wanted it to be special when I came back.

Every year I spent away, all I could think about was Kate and that she waited patiently for me. At times, I don't think I would have made it out alive if it wasn't for her. The thought of Kate kept me sane throughout. I always knew that when I went back home, I would find her waiting for me. Her letters to me were what pushed me through the years and even after she stopped writing to me, I never stopped writing my own letters to her. I craved the contact with her.

Things, however, didn't go as well as I had expected them to. When I walked back home after ten years in the Army, it wasn't the girl I fell in love with that I first saw. It was a little girl that I knew had to be hers from the strong resemblance. I would have been okay with it had it been any other man but when it turned out to be my own brother, I was devastated. That was when we'd had our fight. I felt no one was on my side after this. Even my parents who worshipped the very ground that he walked on. They all thought that what I felt was some child love and I needed to grow up but I knew that I had genuinely loved Kate. She had kept me alive throughout the years.

"Are you okay?" I almost jumped up from my seat when I heard the voice. I turned to see that it was only Lucia.

"What do you want?" I asked rudely but as usual Lucia didn't seem to mind it.

"We're about to close," she said crossing her arms over her chest. I looked around the dinner to see that we were the only people there. How on earth had time passes that fast. Had I fallen asleep again? I had the tendency to fall asleep in the strangest of places since my own bed was not as welcoming anymore.

"Let me drive you home," she offered taking my arm as I got up.

"I'll be fine," I replied trying to pull away from her surprisingly strong grip.

"You don't have a car and you're half drunk," she said even though I'd only had one beer. I was smart enough that she wouldn't take kindly to my answer so I let her lead me to her car.

Just as I had suspected, Lucia had no idea where I lived. She couldn't even be bothered to take me there seeing that it wasn't a very fancy motel. Instead she took me to her own place where I was supposed to spend the night on the couch. However, as the night went on, it got harder and harder to stop thinking about her on her hard-cold sofa.

I got up from my “bed” and made my way up the stairs to her bedroom. Lucia looked lovely as she slept and I couldn't help but feel like I was intruding on something sacred. I made my way to her bed and sat there. I wasn’t going to touch her. I had too much respect for her after all she had done for me as much as I couldn't bring myself to say it. However, I yearned to have someone next to me. Someone to at least care in the way I had never been cared for.

I must have been deep in my thoughts because I didn't notice Lucia stir from her sleep until she placed her hands on my upper thigh. I looked at her and was touched by the concern on her face. She seemed to understand what I needed and was willing to give it to me along with much more. She sat up and kissed me and I automatically wound my arms around her. I lay her back on the mattress and pressed my body against hers. It didn't take much to know that just like me Lucia had thought of this for a while.

When I moved inside her, it was all I could do not to explode. I had never done this before and I was determined not to have her know. I guess she didn't because she seemed as lost in our love making as I was. When we were done, we lay side to side talking. I had to admit I felt a strong connection with her that I hoped would grow. Who knew maybe one day I would learn to love again and it was Lucia that I would love. There was no way to be sure but I was determined to make the most of our time together.

The End

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