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Hidden Feelings

By Isa Adam

Copyright@2018 by Isa Adam

Smashwords Edition

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

It is intended only for adults over the age of 18 and all characters are represented as 18 or over.

"What do you think Martha. Isn't this a great place for the wedding?" Beth asked the small woman standing behind her. She was standing with her back pressed firmly against the wall as if willing herself to disappear from the face of the earth. She didn’t know Beth had talked to her until she felt all their eyes on her.

"What?" was Martha's response. She'd been too absorbed in thoughts of their last conversation with Beth to pay any attention to her surroundings.

"Oh Martha. You and that little brain of yours," Beth teased the wide-eyed girl. At that, the small group around them broke into giggles. Martha frowned finding herself with a strong desire to smack someone in the face. The thought itself surprised her since no such thing had ever crossed her mind but then again no one person had ever irritated her as much as Beth did.

"Let's go girls," Beth said taking the first step into the church and the others followed dutifully.

Martha watched with envy wishing she could command such respect and attention from people but then again, she was only Martha. Plain and simple Martha who couldn't even form a coherent sentence when faced with more than three new people at once. Beth knew this about her and that was why she treated her the way she did.

"You have to grow a pair Martha," Imelda said making Martha jump. She hadn't realized that the young woman hadn't gone in with the rest. Imelda seemed to be right next to her these days criticizing her every move as soon as she got the chance.

Martha could only bring herself to look at her dumbly. Imelda simply shook her head when she got no response and walked into the church after the rest certain she had proved her point. Martha couldn't help but feel ashamed of herself. Ashamed of what she was and that she sometimes wished she were someone else. Someone like Imelda for example who had to be the most confident woman that Martha had ever met. She commanded far much more respect than Beth and sometimes even fear. A fear that sometimes Martha felt only that it confused her because it was always mixed with some awe and deep admiration for her best friend's sister. If she were at least half as confident as Imelda, then Martha was sure Beth would treat her better. Sometimes she would stand in front of a mirror in the comfort of her own home and pretend to be someone else. She'd done it even as a little girl. She would use all these kinds of voices some from people she knew and some which she had actually made up. However, at the end of the day, that was all they were. Voices. Not people whose lives she could steal.

"What are you waiting for Martha? Come in here," Beth yelled from inside and Martha scurried after the others.

Imelda was right when she said that Martha always let people push her around. She'd done it with everyone she had ever known. Her parents, her older brothers and sisters, her best friend Jeff and his fiancé Beth and even if she didn't know it Imelda herself. Imelda was always too concerned with making her tougher to a point that she made Martha do things that she would have never dreamed of doing just to keep her satisfied.

No one looked at her as she walked into the church. They were all focused on Beth and the movement of her body as she twirled around playfully. All except of course for Imelda who sat playing with her long nails. She was the one person who had hated Beth eve since Jeff had introduced her to Martha and the family. Martha had never known why until today after her conversation with the woman. Of course, Imelda had always had this knack for knowing a person's true heart no matter how hard they tried to hide it. Beth was no exception. It was how she'd come to know Martha's secret when Martha had tried so desperately to hide it all her life. A secret that even Beth knew now. However, nothing ever seemed to get past Imelda.

"I'm glad you could finally join us," Beth called as Martha found a seat at the back. Everyone's heads turned towards her and she felt herself shrink in her seat. It was no secret that they all found her odd and could never understand what Jeff saw in her when he could pick a number of friends from all the ones he could have had. They, in fact, would have been glad to take their place and spend time with the handsome and charming Jeff. Martha however knew there was more to Jeff than just a pretty face. It was why they were so good for each other.

"Let's just get this over with Beth. Some of us have businesses to run. We don't want to wait for husbands to bail us out of our massive family debts," Imelda said and everyone's attention turned to her instead. Martha felt glad that she could depend on Imelda at times like this.

"Of course," Beth replied and for the first time ever, Martha saw the hatred in her eyes before and recognized it for what it was. She'd seen it before but before today would have never believed that Beth was exactly what Imelda said she was. Maybe even worse. It gripped her heart to think that this was what Jeff was going to marry. A woman so consumed by herself that she thought everyone around her was insignificant. Jeff deserved better. He deserved someone who genuinely cared about him and not just about is money. Someone to have his back when things went completely wrong. Martha had no doubted that she could be exactly that for Jeff but wasn't it okay to just dream of it even though she knew that she simply wasn't good enough?

"Oh, Imelda. You could be so funny sometimes," Beth said laughing heartedly. On any other day, Martha wouldn't have noticed that it was fake only designed to let everyone know that she was still in charge. The other women started to laugh to. Awkwardly at first because the tension was still there. Martha and Imelda were the only ones who didn't laugh.

The day went by slower than Martha and Imelda hoped. The latter couldn't help but voice all her rude opinions each step of the way and Beth could do nothing but listen because as much as she hated Imelda, she also craved her approval. She was her fiancé's only sister and the two of them were close. One wrong move on her part would see her chances with Jeff destroyed. It would be silly to throw away all she had worked for because of a little feud so she wasn't going to mess it up. As much as Martha didn't like to admit it, Beth was a very smart woman. You had to be smart if you could come this far and convince a man to marry you after only two months of knowing each other You had to be even smarter to keep the truth about your finances a secret. It was only Imelda who had uncovered that little detail, but Jeff had been so blinded the that everything she said had fallen on deaf ears.

Like everyone else, Beth was terrified of Imelda. Martha knew by then that Imelda was one of the sweetest people on Earth and wouldn't really hurt a fly. She could threaten it until it died from the fear itself, but she would never really hurt it. She was completely harmless only Imelda wouldn't share this piece of information with anyone. However, that was one fact about Imelda that Martha kept for herself in case she became the first person she ever hurt.

By the end of the day, Martha was exhausted, Still, she let Imelda drag her to her parents’ house claiming that she had some clothes she wanted her to try on. Martha knew better by now. The only reason Imelda insisted was because she hoped that they'd run into Jeff at the house. Imelda would have done anything at this point to make sure she got Beth out of her brother's life even if that meant getting him together with Martha.

Martha didn't mind that Imelda had considered her out of all the girls his brother could have had. She liked to call her a spineless fool anyway, so it felt good to have been chosen. However, Martha doubted that her plans would work out. Jeff just wasn't into her like that. He saw her more as a little sister to take care of though Martha was the one who could remember always taking care of him even when they were kids. She'd always had to protect him from himself and his tendency to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. She was the one person who had kept him grounded despite his parents always spoiling him.

"Martha. Imelda. What are you guys doing here. Aren't you supposed to be helping with the wedding plans, "Martha heard Jeff. She could feel her heart beat faster as she turned around to face him. Even after all those years, she would find herself losing herself in his green eyes.

"You hired a wedding planner for that. Not us," Imelda said pushing past him but not before giving him a hard punch on the shoulder. Jeff gripped it and yelped in pain. Martha frowned wondering why the two siblings always had to communicate like this.

"Come with me," Jeff said once Imelda had disappeared from their view. S much for trying on some clothes.

Martha followed Jeff into his room. She felt nervous. Beth would be at the house any minute from now and after that speech about staying away from her fiancé, Martha didn't think she had what it take to risk being in the same room with Jeff. She didn't want to make this wedding even more difficult for Jeff than it already was. He'd been trying to get hers and Imelda's approval but the two of them just couldn’t give it only their parents seemed happy with his choice.

"What's wrong?" she asked once they were all alone. It was clear to her that something wasn't right with her best friend.

"I wanted to ask you something about Beth," he started.

"What is it?" Martha asked sweetly.

"I know it's even stupid to ask but I would feel terrible if I didn't do this right now," he started.

"Get to the point Jeff," she said smiling at him. He was always like this when he was nervous.

"Imelda seems to think that you have feelings for me. I told her she was being silly but then I thought it would be better if I asked you myself just, so we could get this over with," he started laughing uncomfortably.

"She told you that?" Martha asked the smile on her face completely wiped off.

"Yes, but it is silly right," Jeff's voice sounded pleading. She wished she could tell him what he wanted to hear but it was about time she came clean.

"She's not wrong about that," she replied playing with her hair.

"What do you mean she'd not wrong?" he asked not willing to believe that the girl he'd known his whole life was actually in love with him.

"I've loved you my whole life," she said her voice heavy with emotion.

"This is bad," Jeff said pacing around the room. Martha felt like she'd done something wrong. She wished she could apologize for something but that would be ridiculous. How could she ever be sorry for loving him when he was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"Maybe you shouldn't come to the wedding. I don't want you to make Beth uneasy," he said coldly. Martha felt like she'd been slapped across the face. She looked away from him not wanting him to see her cry.

"That's okay," she replied meekly before running out of his room.

She couldn't believe it. Her own best friend didn't want her at the most important day of his life. She should have seen it coming. What did she expect anyway when she confessed? That he would also profess his undying love for her and they would run off together? This was real. She had made her choice and now she had to deal with the results of her actions.

The next few days were filled with misery for Martha. She spent the whole day in bed crying while Imelda cursed her brother on numerous occasions. She'd decided that she wasn't going to go to his wedding after all despite Martha's protests. The last thing she wanted was for the two siblings to fight because of her.

It was the day of the wedding when a knock came on her door. Imelda rushed to open it leaving her in bed. Martha shot out of bed when she heard his voice from the living room. He was arguing with Imelda. She rushed to stop their fight before they did or said something stupid.

"I'll leave you alone," Imelda said walking out the front door.

"I'm sorry," he started, "I know I should have acted better when you told me, but I panicked. I've had feelings for you for a while and I've been denying them. When you told me, I just freaked."

"Where's your wife?" Martha asked coldly.

"I don’t want her. I want you," he said. She was about to respond when he closed the gap between them and kissed her.

She had imagined him kissing her before, but it had never felt this good. She placed his hands firmly on his chest to push him away, but he just wouldn't budge. Giving up altogether, she let herself feel him. He led her back into her bedroom and plopped her onto the mattress. He climbed on top of her and settled himself between her legs. He tore off her clothes leaving her naked body to his hungry gaze. He moved inside her, and a moan escaped her throat. He started to thrust into her hard and fast until she was screaming beneath him. Her body wrapped around his like a vine as he moved even faster inside her.

With a few more thrusts, he came inside. They lay quietly side by side. It felt perfect for Martha. She only wished that they would have to face the rest of the world after this.

The End

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