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Rimmerdale: Season One

Physical Education

A Porn Parody

By John Valjean



Text copyright © 2019

John Valjean

All Rights Reserved



Disclaimer: This book contains sexually explicit material and profanity. Please do not read further if these things offend you. All characters depicted in sexual acts in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.



This book is a work of fiction. The characters, events, and places portrayed in this book are products of the author’s imagination and are either fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intentional.

Are you in the mood for more hot tales? Try any of the following taboo adventures from author John Valjean, exclusively on Smashwords.com:

My Camping Trip With Dad

After a summer of sexual discovery, Henry Roberts is ready to seduce the man he craves above all others: his father.

A Night in the Drunk Tank With Dad

Young stud Tommy Stone could never have expected that an evening clubbing with his sexy father would result in a night behind bars. Or that it would lead to an unbridled orgy with Dad and the sadistic officers who put them there!

The Masterson Men

After Buck Masterson's wife of twenty-five years learns about years of adulterous affairs with men, she walks out on him and provides an ultimatum: stay away from their three boys, all of whom he lusts after, or she’ll reveal his secrets to the world. In this highly charged erotic story, Buck and his boys find themselves on an erotic path of sexual discovery!

Right Under Mom’s Nose

This anthology of three hot stories involves family members who turn to each other while Mom is a little too close for comfort! Will she discover what’s happening right under her nose?

Wedding Day Jitters

Luke James' wedding party, made up of his handsome brother and four sexy cousins, is eager to calm his nerves on the morning of his wedding. The groom may have cold feet, but everything else about this erotic romp is a scorcher!

Rimmerdale: Season One

Follow sexy high-school senior Arnie Andrews and his circle of friends as they find themselves embroiled in a sex-charged mystery that threatens to doom them all! Carnality, twists, and turns are around every corner in this five-volume series, which parodies the popular, similarly named CW series!

Brother 4 Sale

Meet handsome Liam Parks, a college student who discovers the highs and lows of being a high-priced escort, a job that draws him into an erotic world of fantasy, where the client's call all the steamy shots... no matter how twisted the request!

I Don’t Want to Act My Age! Raunchy Tales of Ageplay

Wyatt Phillips is an escort for men with very particular tastes. Ageplay is the name of the game, and Wyatt knows exactly how to fulfill his clients' darkest, forbidden fantasies.



Physical Education

Arnie Andrews opened his eyes and felt a new sense of freedom. He was finally eighteen years old and was ready to explore his sexuality in ways he’d only fantasized about. A lot. In fact, and this bothered him, he was single-minded on the matter. As much as he worshipped his girlfriend, Veronique Lodge, Arnie was ready for some free loving outside of his ever-blossoming high school romance. Arnie got out of bed wearing only boxer shorts when he stared at himself in the mirror. There was something new about the man looking back at him; he liked it, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. While he didn’t think himself shallow, the teenager couldn’t help but marvel at the impressive results of his long hours at the gym and on the football field. The star quarterback of the Rimmerdale Wildcats turned heads on campus for good reason. Arnie wanted to explore his most secret yearnings. Imagining a man ravaging his body aroused him like nothing else. As well, the thought of sinking his eleven-inch dick inside a guy’s unimaginably tight hole was almost unbearable. Arnie was lost in his morning fantasy. That’s probably why he didn’t hear Frank Andrews, his father, walking down the hall toward his bedroom.

“Happy Birthday, Arn!” Mr. Andrews said, opening the door wide. Arnie hunched over in the middle of the room, trying in vain to hide his hard on.

“Dad!” he yelled. His father closed the door immediately and apologized from the other side.

“Breakfast is ready, birthday boy!” Mr. Andrews shouted as he went downstairs.

Fifteen minutes later, Arnie feasted upon cold eggs, bacon, and toast with his father. The teenager felt sorry for him. It had been a few years since Arnie’s parents separated and Mr. Andrews was clearly lonely. No matter the man’s mood, there was no hiding his sadness.

“Any special plans today?” Mr. Andrews asked.

“Ronnie, Betsy, and Lughead are taking me out for dinner at Pip’s,” Arnie answered. “Ronnie wanted to do something more elaborate, but I told her I preferred something more laid back.”

“Well, try to be home before I go to bed,” Mr. Andrews requested. “I have something for you. It’s not much, but—“

“Dad, you don’t have to get me anything,” Arnie interrupted.

“Son, you only turn eighteen once,” Mr. Andrews replied, putting his hand on Arnie’s shoulder. “I’ve been putting a little aside for a while, and your mother was good enough to chip in.” Arnie could feel his dick growing as Frank Andrews maintained his grip on the teenager’s shoulder.

Arnie knew he should be bothered by his attraction to his father, but he searched his feelings and found that he had no trouble with the idea. Could he act on his instincts, he wondered. This was something he wasn’t ready to answer. But there seemed to be a fire igniting between the two Andrews men. Arnie could feel it. However, this was neither the time nor place. A rendezvous with his father was going to have to wait until the moment was right.

At school, Veronique went to great lengths to make sure her boyfriend felt spoiled without going overboard. She decorated his locker, inside and out, with streamers, balloons, confetti, and several messages declaring her undying adoration for the captain of the football team. At lunch, she had her favorite bakery deliver a strawberry cake to the cafeteria table she sat at with Betsy, Lughead, and her beau. The large room filled with the Happy Birthday song, causing Arnie to turn redder than his ginger locks. For dinner, Veronique did nothing to embarrass him or bring unwanted attention. The four friends enjoyed a simple meal at Pip’s. Although Arnie’s desires were still on his mind, he knew he was lucky to be a part of an unbreakable bond.

Walking up to his house, the teenager spotted a meticulously restored 1968 Chevy CST, similar to the one he and his father saw for sale last year. Because the sun had gone down, he didn’t notice anybody in the driver’s seat until the door opened and out stepped Mr. Andrews, who gave his boy a wave.

“What do you think?” he called out to his son.

“Are you serious?” Arnie asked. “Dad... how… this is way too much!”

“I told you your mother was happy to pitch in,” Mr. Andrews explained. “I got it for a good deal, and it’s been sitting in Mr. Denton’s garage for the last six months. We’ve been working on it a few weekends a month.”

“Thank you!” exclaimed Arnie. Mr. Andrews received an unusually long hug from his son, who was dumbstruck by the generous gift. Arnie could swear he felt his father’s swollen shaft pressing against his own. They both pulled back slowly. He could see the mortification on his father’s face and hurried to fill the silence, which was growing exponentially awkward. “Wow, Dad! I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means!”

The two men walked into the house to eat birthday cake and talk endlessly about the responsibilities of automobile ownership. Arnie was in the best mood he’d been in for months and enjoyed his stress-free evening with his father. By the time he got ready for bed, his brain had made a beeline to his groin and began devising all of the opportunities for sexual encounters that would open up to him now that he had transportation.



It was midnight on Saturday night, and Arnie had just dropped Veronique off at the Hembrooke, the luxury apartment where she lived with her parents, Efrem and Calliope Lodge. Fifteen minutes away, on the east side of town, was the Slinky Stockings Theater, an adult movie palace that primarily showed straight adult fare. Arnie had heard that this was the place to hook up with random men, which is precisely what he wanted. Whatever sexual proclivities he had, he wanted this to be something that would remain far outside his circle. For now at least.

“You sure you’re old enough to be in here?” asked the woman at the ticket booth. Arnie handed her his driver’s license. “Happy belated,” she said, returning it to the teenager.

There must have been twenty to twenty-five men in the theater, watching a sci-fi porn film that appeared to be about fifteen years old, based on the actors’ hairstyles. Arnie found a seat in the middle of the theater, not sure what to expect next. It didn’t take more than ten minutes before two good-looking men in their late twenties appeared, each taking a seat on either side of Arnie. The teenager kept his eyes on the screen, not invested in the action but unsure of the etiquette for the situation in which he found himself. His hope was for the men to take the lead.

A hand came down softly on Arnie’s right hand, and then the same occurred on the left. Both men steered the quarterback to their laps, where they had removed their large cocks from their pants. Arnie took hold of them both and began stroking their cocks with a measured pace. The man on Arnie’s right put his hand on Arnie’s shoulder and gave it an encouraging pat. Both men were exhaling heavily and muttering quick “ahs” and “ohs” as the teenager worked the rods.

“Yeah, kid,” the man on the left gasped. “Mmmmm… fuckin’ pound it. Pound it.”

“Shit,” added the other, “keep going… ohhhhh… just like that!”

Both men began shifting their pelvises forward, fucking Arnie’s fists in a more accelerated manner. The two strangers were doing most of the work at this point, banging the quarterback’s expert grip and barely attempting to calm their moans.

Warm fluids ran down Arnie’s fingers, and down onto their nutsacks. The teenager wasn’t confident if they knew each other, but when they simultaneously took his hands and consumed their cum from his fingers, it told him that this could be their “thing.” He wondered if the two were friends or a couple, out to add some thrills to their relationship. Arnie didn’t get a chance to ask since they both shoved their cocks into their pants immediately and walked out of the theater.

Men walked around, inspecting the goods and either staying or wandering off to search for someone else. Other than the two men, nobody was coming near Arnie. He figured he probably needed to move because he wasn’t in a spot that garnered heavy traffic. Most of the men remained on the ends of the aisles. Before he could relocate, he spotted a young dark-haired man with a black tank top and leather cuffs on each wrist. The man made eye contact with Arnie and then descended upon the teenager.

Similar to the last encounter, no words were spoken before the handsome man knelt in front of Arnie, massaging the teenager’s thighs. The teenager looked into the man’s smoldering eyes. He’d never seen a man so hungry for sex, and his throat was drier than it had ever been. The silence was unbearable. Was he supposed to say something?

“You got a big cock?” the man asked, finally breaking the silence.

“See for yourself,” Arnie mumbled through his anxiety.

Arnie started to unfasten his jeans when the man swatted the young man’s hands away to do it himself. The quarterback’s dick became hard in anticipation. Both maintained their gaze as the sounds of sex rose and fell throughout the dark auditorium. The stench was becoming more rank with each passing minute. It occurred to Arnie that this was not something he would have ever considered erotic without experiencing it for himself. However, being in the thick of it drove him wild.

“Big boy,” the man said, freeing Arnie’s cock from his boxers.

Arnie tried to swallow any saliva remaining in his throat. The moment his boner disappeared, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back over the back of the chair. The warmth of the man’s mouth, the sensation of his cock sliding between the tongue and palate, and the way the man’s lips caressed his shaft as they moved up and down its length all took Arnie by glorious surprise. He worried that it would be difficult to find a lover whose mouth could fit around his dick, but this raven-haired stranger was doing it with little effort.

Grabbing hold of the chair’s arms, Arnie slowly bucked his hips forward. He didn’t want to force his rod down the man’s throat, but he wanted to see how far it would go. “Mmmmmm” the man hummed over and over, gorging himself on the teenager’s fat prick. As much as he tried to withhold his moans, Arnie couldn’t help himself, and he couldn’t be bothered with anybody who might have actually been there to follow the movie.

“You like that, don’t you, boy?” the man said, holding onto the glossy dick. Arnie nodded and squeaked out some indistinct words of approval. “C’mon, kid. Tell me.”

“Yes,” Arnie muttered.

“Yes, what?” the man asked.

“I love the way you suck cock!” Arnie hollered. “Suck my fucking cock!”

The man laughed and then went straight back to pleasuring Arnie. He guided Arnie’s hands from the armrests to his head. Arnie stood to his feet and grabbed the man’s hair, driving his cock down the man’s throat. The teenager pulled off his shirt, revealing his body in a fit of passion and there were audible gasps from around him.

“Take my cock, bro,” Arnie said, sweat dripping from his temple and nose. “Choke on it!”

Men began to surround Arnie and his new lover as they put on their unintentional display. Again, this wasn’t anything like what he was expecting, but the teenager felt as though his entire body was being charged with electricity. His gut told him he needed to taste unbridled sex with men and he was receiving all the confirmation he needed.

Cheers and cackles broke out as soon as it was clear Arnie was filling the man’s mouth with a salty gift. The teenager was involuntarily theatrical when he came; his body spasmed and contorted as his balls exploded in a way that made him wish it lasted twice as long. But it came to an end, and still the man was sucking Arnie’s cock, tasting it for the final remnants of semen.

Arnie stumbled back, grabbed his t-shirt, probably said something to the effect of “thanks,” and sat to the side of the theater. He wanted to catch his breath and compose himself. He watched the men circling and coupling, circling and coupling. The man who went down on him was sucking off another dude a few minutes later. Once the exhilaration subsided, Arnie got up to go home, satisfied with the morsel he’d sampled this evening.



Had it been a week yet since the movie theater, Arnie pondered on his drive home from school on Wednesday. The teenager told himself he would wait until Friday or Saturday before going out to experiment again, but his dick wasn’t as disciplined. It wouldn’t relax and Arnie knew he was going to have to nourish his appetite. Just outside of town, there was a sex club he came across online called the P-Zone.

Thankfully, Mr. Andrews tried to be in bed by 10 p.m. on weeknights. Shortly after that, when he could hear the snores coming from his father’s bedroom, Arnie snuck downstairs and out the door. He knew he wanted to get together with more guys his age, but the quarterback in him was aware that he had to put in the proper amount of practice before he put himself in the game.

After a thirty-minute drive, Arnie arrived at the nondescript building with no discernible sign. If not for the steady flow of patrons entering and exiting, he would have missed the place altogether. Arnie got out of his truck, paid the admission, and walked into the dark structure, which grew darker as he traveled through the structure. Attached to some walls were small bottles filled with mouthwash next to paper cup holders. Seems practical, Arnie thought.

Arnie entered a large room that was dimly lit with blue and purple lights. Black sofas lined the walls and men, in varying forms of undress, were stationed wherever they would fit, fucking, sucking, or observing with cocks in hands. Arnie stood a few feet into the room, eager to be plucked while still trying to exude an air of confidence.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” said a tall buff man in his early thirties. He didn’t have a shirt on and wore his jeans low to accentuate his obliques. He pulled his shaft out and started making out with Arnie, grinding hard against the teenager the entire time. “You old enough to be in here?” the man asked as his ten-inch cock slid against Arnie’s stomach. He figured there was no need to answer and kept pressing his tongue against the man’s. “Oh… oh fuck…” the man pulled away from Arnie’s mouth but continued dry humping him until the front of the teenager’s shirt was soiled with cum. “Thanks, dude,” the man said. “That was fun.” He fastened his pants and walked out of the room as quickly as he appeared.

Drenched and feeling slightly awkward, Arnie walked through the room to a flight of stairs that led to a hall filled with narrow booths, all painted black. There was a single soft light above each of the small compartments. Each booth was equipped with three glory holes. Arnie stepped into one, between two with closed doors. The teenager undressed, hanging his clothes on the back of the door and moving to his knees. The wait was not long.

For the next hour, Arnie put himself through a cocksucking boot camp, going down on every cock that squeezed and peeked through the glory holes. He concentrated on being attentive, always using a hand on one, while he sucked the other one off. If there were three rods in the tight room, Arnie rotated to ensure each one received the proper care. Semen spilled again and again on the budding cum slut, rolling down his hard body and onto the floor. He attempted to drink down much of what spattered from the rods that exploded upon him, but the volume became overwhelming. Arnie took note of what he was doing that caused each of the men on the other side of the wall to moan. By the time he sucked his last cock of the evening, he felt he walked out of the sex club having learned some genuine skills.



For the remainder of the week, Arnie couldn’t focus on anything but having sex with men. He was unable to keep his eyes off his most attractive classmates. Rennie Mantle, the running back and second in command of the Wildcats, was considered by many students to be the single most beautiful young man on campus. Another member of the team, Charles Clayton, was a linebacker and another perfect specimen. The only openly gay classmate was Calvin Keller, the sheriff’s son and Veronique’s best friend. Arnie usually felt that Calvin came off as a bit stuffy. Then there was Lughead. Arnie couldn’t remember a time when the two weren’t best friends. The quarterback was attracted to the budding reporter, but he didn’t want to do anything that would interfere with their friendship. Unless it’s what Lughead wanted, that is.

While pulling his chemistry and geometry textbooks out of his locker at the end of the day, Rennie came up to Arnie, looked around suspiciously, and asked his team captain, “Any plans for the weekend, Andrews?”

“Nothing too exciting,” Arnie answered. “Ronnie, Betsy, Lug and I are going to study for the SATs at Pip’s tomorrow night.”

“You’re not going to take in any movies?” Rennie asked. Again he looked around before whispering, “Like at the Slinky Stockings Theater?” Arnie knew he looked like a deer caught in the headlights because that’s how he felt. His teammate laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Your secret’s safe with me, Andrews. I just had no idea. Anytime you’re looking for another study partner, give me a call.”

“Please don’t—“ Arnie started.

“Say anything?” Rennie replied. “Not a chance. I hope you’d extend the same courtesy to me. Look, man, we’re not one-woman guys. We like to fuck. It’s all about keeping things discreet so people don’t find out what cock hounds we are! Call me, bro.” Rennie walked off, leaving Arnie with plenty to think about. And a hard on.

The following night at Pip’s, the four friends set up camp in their favorite booth with their SAT study guides, books, pencils, notebooks, and anything else they might need to survive the long evening. Arnie struggled through Betsy’s test questions, not because he was unfamiliar with the material. He was. But he was also preoccupied. At any minute he could have driven off to one of the sex dens he found during the week to blow his load a few more times.

“Concentrate,” Arnie growled, slamming his fist on the table.

“Arnie, it’s okay,” Veronique said, placing her arm around his back. “We’re here for you. Don’t worry.”

“You okay, buddy?” Lughead asked.

“Uh… don’t worry, Arnie,” Betsy said. “I started our warm up with some difficult questions.”

Diving right back into their studying, Arnie wasn’t improving, and he could tell his friends were doing their best to slip him hints to the answers. This frustrated him even more. He looked up from his studies when the door to Pip’s opened and Rennie walked through. The running back didn’t wave or say “hello.” He merely gave Arnie a quick wink.

“Studying for the SATs?” Rennie asked.

“That’s exceptionally perceptive,” Veronique replied. “You can join us if you’d like.”

“And muddy up all the work I’ve done with my tutor,” Rennie answered. “No thanks. I actually need Arnie’s help.”

“Mine?” Arnie asked.

“Yeah,” Rennie replied. “You wanted me to put some strategies together. I need to go over them with you before we discuss them with Coach Kleats and the team. What do you guys say? Can I pull him away for thirty minutes? Hour tops. We’ll be right outside.”

Betsy looked concerned. “Arnie, we really need to hit these books.”

“Guys, I think I need to take a break from studying,” Arnie said. “Working with Rennie might be just what I need to clear my head.”

Five minutes later, Arnie and Rennie were in the rear of Pip’s, away from the neon lights that illuminated the front of the popular diner. Rennie was ruffling through his gym bag, which he must have left behind the greasy spoon before arriving at Arnie’s table.

“We can’t do this out here,” Arnie said. “What if they come out?”

“They’re studying for the SATs,” Rennie answered. “An hour is going to go by without them even noticing. Here it is.”

“What?”

“Lube.” Rennie looked at Arnie, standing motionless. “Do you not want—“

“No, it’s just that I’ve never, uh… come on,” Arnie sighed. “I’ve never, you know.”

“Fucked a guy?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you been fucked?”

“Not yet.”

When they finally decided what would happen next, the two teenagers got out of their clothes, folding them and setting them on their lettermans to keep them from getting filthy. Rennie was on one knee, spreading his team captain’s asscheeks apart and burying his tongue deep inside his enormously grateful teammate. All the quarterback could do is whimper as he experienced the wonders of a Rennie Mantle rimming.

“You gotta be quiet, buddy,” Rennie said.

“Okay… okay… just wasn’t expecting that,” Arnie responded.

Rennie slapped Arnie’s ass a couple of times and laughed. The running back dove in again and Arnie pressed his lips together to stifle the unending pleasure of having a man’s tongue burrowing inside his asshole. Arnie could feel precum leaking from his fully erect cock. It ached for attention, but Arnie knew it could erupt if he touched it, so he let it be as he basked in the pure delight Rennie was giving him.

“Oh… fuck… that’s fucking cold,” Arnie muttered.

“Just getting you primed, Andrews,” Rennie returned. “Back into my fingers. It’s going to be a little uncomfortable at first.”

Arnie followed Rennie’s direction and the discomfort of having two, maybe three, fingers occupying his virgin hole eventually subsided. While the running back finger-banged his friend, he licked around Arnie’s bunghole.

“Nggggh… ahhhhh… I think… I’m ready,” Arnie informed his teammate.

“That’s all I needed to hear, buddy,” Rennie said, standing to his feet.

There were grunts and there were snarls as Arnie’s asshole swallowed all ten inches of Rennie’s massive cock. Leaning against the back wall of Pip’s, Arnie beat his fist against its side as he struggled to take Rennie while maintaining some semblance of quiet during the excruciating act.

“You gotta relax, Andrews,” Rennie said, slapping Arnie on the asscheek. “Come on,” he sneered, offering another slap. “Relax!” adding yet one more slap.

Blowing out what felt like all the air in his lungs, Arnie tried to find a place of tranquility. This was easier, he thought, when his asshole wasn’t being plunged for the first time with such energy. Rennie wasn’t going easy on Arnie, which the quarterback chalked up to the simple fact that his teammate wanted to get his rocks offs.

“There you go, Andrews,” Rennie called out. “See? You’re relaxed. Now you can take that fat cock! Mmmmm… feels so good! So fucking tight!”

Perhaps because he was worried he would hate anal sex, Arnie was apprehensive about being fucked. And having it happen behind the restaurant he’s been coming to since he was just a kid felt a little strange. But as he settled into it, the feeling of Rennie’s tool massaging his prostate was setting Arnie aflame. A wide smile crossed his drenched face.

“Fuck me, Rennie,” Arnie yelled. “Yeah, fucking shove that cock inside me!”

The running back grabbed tightly onto his teammate's hips and began springing forward with intense determination. Arnie, still with his hands planted against the wall, pushed his ass back against Rennie’s boner. Their bodies slammed together, causing a racket neither was willing to suppress.

“Damn, Andrews… I need to cum!” Rennie cried.

Knowing his anus was suddenly overflowing with cum was almost too much for Arnie to take. Long strands of precum continued flowing from his aching cockhead. Rennie pulled his boner from the quarterback’s hole and got to his knees again, this time to lap up his own thick juices. Again, Arnie could do little more than whimper under his breath until his teammate finished.

“You want to have a go?” Rennie whispered, standing with his firm, sweaty body pressed against Arnie’s. “I’ve been dying to have that long cock of yours inside me.”

Rennie grabbed the bottle of lubricant and squirted a generous amount into the palm of his hand before walking up to Arnie. The two young men, still hungry for more, met eye to eye in the darkness of the empty lot. Rennie leaned in for a kiss and Arnie accepted. The running back took hold of his team captain’s shaft and rubbed the lube until it was blanketed with the fluid.

“Ready?” Rennie asked.

“Fuck yeah, I am.”

Sitting on top of Rennie’s Letterman, Arnie brought his friend down onto his lap so they were facing each other. Though it was difficult to see much of anything behind Pip’s, Arnie wanted to get even the briefest glimpse of Rennie’s gorgeously toned body as it bounced on his cock.

“Go hard or go home, Andrews,” Rennie said once he was halfway down Arnie’s rod. “Ungh… don’t worry about breaking me… ungh… I can take it.”

Thrusting his hips forward, Arnie put his teammate to the test. The quarterback took hold of Rennie’s trim waist, bringing him down with urgency after each scaling of Arnie’s shaft. Rennie seemed to be equally enamored with Arnie’s physique, tracing his fingers along his biceps, down his chest, and over his abs.

“Goddamn that body, Andrews,” Rennie squealed. “Ungh… we’re going to… ungh… need to do this again… mmmm… with the lights on!”

Though he wasn’t sure if Rennie noticed, Arnie nodded in agreement. Again, their bodies crashed together like a thunderous Rimmerdale storm. Arnie knew he wasn’t going to be able to last long at all; his balls were ready to burst before he even began sliding his dick inside his lewd teammate. He wanted to take Rennie up on his offer to hookup again soon. Arnie wanted the opportunity to savor the extraordinary sensation of having an unbelievably tight grip on his manhood.

“I’m gonna cum… ungh…” Arnie warned his partner.

Rennie quickly jumped up, lifting Arnie with him. Then down the running back went, kneeling before his team captain again and stroking his beleaguered cock. Arnie could barely stand when his balls flared up, ejecting mounds of warm seed into Rennie’s mouth. Once the last of the gusts of cum shot from Arnie’s dick, Rennie began cleaning off the pole slowly and thoroughly. Hearing a small cracking sound to his right, Arnie opened his eyes to find that he and Rennie were being watched.

“Oh fuck,” Arnie said under his breath. “Lug! Wait!” Panicking, Arnie jumped toward his clothes and began unfolding his jeans.

“Hold up, Andrews,” Rennie said, pulling a towel and a large bottle of water out of his bag. “Clean up with these before you put your clothes on. Here take this.”

“What is it?” Arnie asked.

“A breath strip, dummy,” Rennie laughed. “Just calm down. Lughead’s not about to tell your girl what he just saw. Take a minute to compose yourself.” He put his hand on Arnie’s shoulder. “Trust me. I’ve been in worse situations.”

“You thought of everything,” Arnie said, pouring water over his face and body before drying himself and getting dressed at breakneck speed.

“I never leave a teammate high and dry,” Rennie said, slapping Arnie on the back. “I’m going to leave. Just go in, don’t make any weird eye contact with Lughead, and act like everything is normal.”

“Thanks,” Arnie said.

“Likewise,” Rennie replied. “We’ll do it again.”

Once his heart rate was nearing normal, Arnie walked back into Pip’s and took his seat.

“How come your hair’s all wet, Arniekins?” Veronique asked.

“We started throwing the ball around while we went over strategies,” Arnie explained. “We probably overdid it. Okay, hit me up. No easy questions. I want to make sure I’m ready.”

Arnie could see that Lughead was trying to get his attention, but Arnie ignored him. He knew he would have to talk to his best friend later, but he wasn’t ready to address anything about what Lughead saw.

“Okay, you asked for it,” Betsy said, holding up a pink three by five card. “It’s a multiple choice question. John Humphrey Noyes coined one of the following phrases—“

“Free love,” answered Arnie. “Give me another one. Something harder.”

Continued in “Rimmerdale: Season One” (Volumes 1 through 5)


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