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Excerpt for Grocery Store Gas by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Grocery Store Gas

Robert Kloth

Published by Robert Kloth at Smashwords

Copyright 2019 Robert Kloth



Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.





Farts were Gregory's weapon of choice. He knew just what to eat to produce the most putrid sounds and nauseating smells. He gas could last for hours.

But as much as he enjoyed farting, and the scent of his own gas, nothing aroused him more than knowing that somebody else could smell his farts. Letting rip in public, leaving a little miasma of stench, and then seeing someone walk into it was one of his greatest joys.

He was going grocery shopping today, but had been preparing since the day before. Pickled eggs and cabbage for lunch and some curry for dinner the night before had given him ample gas. He rubbed his gurgling stomach and smiled.

Reaching into his briefs, he arranged his cock just so. It wouldn't do for his arousal to show through or, worse yet, for anyone to see the results when he finally squirted.

He stood in his bedroom, naked save for a tight pair of white briefs. He lifted his right leg and let loose a blast of strong wind, sighing as the gust caressed his asshole and tickled his cheeks. He breathed deeply, inhaling his own fart, and smiled. It was the perfect stink: repulsive but not overbearing. It had a dull, woody odor. His cock stiffened as he thought about some attractive young man being forced to smell his gas.

He was an unassuming man, mid 40s with thinning hair. No one ever attributed his farts to him. After all, the conservative-looking man in the business attire was unlikely to release wind in public. As long as he was careful and controlled the sound, he could fart as much as he cared to. He rubbed his ass briefly, gave it a light spank, and finished getting dressed.

The grocery store was perhaps five miles away, but he clenched hard the entire drive. He really needed to fart, but was intent on saving it up for the store. As hot as it would be to stink up his car and bask in the smell, it would be even better to share the stink with an unsuspecting man.

He exited his car carefully, cheeks clenched tight, and walked to the entrance. He briefly considered dropping one at the entrance, but realized that he couldn't hang around long enough to enjoy the effects. He grabbed a shopping cart and pushed his way into the store.

Spying a target in the baked goods section, he smiled slightly and made his way over. The man, from the looks of him, was a white-collar worker, perhaps just out of college and working his first real job. He was currently leaning over a display of fudge. Gregory thought quickly but carefully about how he might fart on the man.

He maneuvered over to the neighboring display, stacks of freshly baked cookies, and leaned over them. As his eyes wandered down over the labels, he carefully adjusted his position, aiming his ass at the young man. He let loose a small, hissing, almost inaudible fart and grabbed a pack of cookies.

Putting them in his cart, he moved to a new display where he could stand and watch the action.

Gregory's farts were never very fast, so he wasn't surprised that the man wasn't immediately reacting. He browsed a bit over some dough-nuts and looked up suddenly as he heard the man having a coughing fit. The man was holding his nose and looking disgusted. As he quickly moved away from the odor, Gregory felt his cock spring to life. He smiled and moved to the produce section.

He saw a father standing in front of a display of vegetables, arguing with his college-aged son about a package of carrots. He had a scapegoat now. He could be a bit louder.

He pushed his cart up behind the arguing pair and slipped in between the cart and the father. The pair, absorbed in an argument over cost-per-ounce, didn't even notice him. As he reached up to the top of the stand to grab a head of celery, he let one rip. This one was louder than the last. It thundered out of his puckered butthole. Glancing at the pair, he saw the son's eyes narrow and heard him hiss something about crude behavior at his father before stalking off. Confused, the father tossed the carrots into the cart and followed after him.

Gregory scowled. The fart had been too loud and both had left before they had been able to smell it. He'd do better next time. He tossed the celery into the cart and wandered off to grab a loaf of bread.

He stood in the aisle, searching through the selection. Then he noticed an older man, perhaps late 60s, making his way down the same aisle. Gregory squatted down to grab a loaf of wheat bread. His cheeks spread apart inside his trousers and his hairy hole puckered, ready to spray a q hiss of gas. He could let out a strong one. He did. He funneled out a long gust of gas and stood quickly. The old man was getting closer. Gregory walked away, finding a safe place to watch.

The old man came forward and stood at the exact place where Gregory had farted. He stood still in front of the bread for a moment, looking over his choices, before he looked up in surprise. He sniffed tentatively, his eyes widening as he realized that he had just smelled someone's fart. He looked around for the culprit, paying Gregory no mind, and moved on, shaking his head in disgust.

Gregory moaned quietly, a shock of pleasure shooting into his cock. He felt the organ strain at the confines of his briefs, but knew from experience and experiments that no one could see it. He wondered if he was getting wet, if pre-cum was collecting at the head and soaking into his briefs.

As he scanned the area around him for another target, he noticed a slight sensation at the base of his penis. He needed to piss. That was fine with him. If he stood at a urinal he could fart as much as he wanted and no one would particularly care.

He maneuvered the cart over to the bathrooms, dodging around people that he couldn't even be bothered to stop and pass his gas on.

Leaving the cart standing outside, he walked into the mens-room and was immediately hit in the face by the stink of shit. He looked at the row of stalls and saw a pair of hairy legs. The man in the stall cut a fart and a few second later the unmistakable sound of shit hitting the water followed. Gregory smiled. He took it as a challenge. He was going to overpower this stink with his own.

He walked over to a urinal and, before unzipping, let loose a loud fart. He thought of it as a sort of warning about what was coming.

Gregory unzipped his trousers and pulled his half-hard cock out of the fly of his briefs. He gave his manhood a gentle caress with his thumb before aiming it towards the top of the urinal. Giving a gentle push that also sent out a fart, he sent a small stream of clear piss into the urinal.

Smiling, he bent at the knees a bit and bore down harder. The piss stream intensified, spraying at the back of the urinal so hard that he could feel drops splashing back onto his hand. He felt another fart building up and, pushing his ass out a bit, let it fly.

It was a tremendous noise, like the backfire of a truck, and it echoed inside the small bathroom.

He moaned and, giving his ass a gentle shake, he let loose another, longer one. It thundered from his protruding butt. He could smell it already. It was a hot, spicy stench that burned his nostrils as he inhaled. And he knew the man in the stall could smell it as well. The thought of him sitting there, breathing in his gas, almost being forced to take Gregory's farts, made him get hard. Even as he pissed, he felt his penis engorge.

His stream tapered off and he gave his dick a gentle flick as he finished pissing. Then he stood there, dick hard and sticking out of his fly. Smiling and wondering what the man on the toilet was thinking, he gave one final parting shot.

His lifted his right leg, like he had done less than an hour before in his bedroom, and let it rip. It gurgled out of his hole at first, but he grunted and bore down. It went from a little gust to a raging blast of stink. He fouled the air, his asshole belching noxious fumes into the already stinking room. His warm gas burned as it exited his stinking hole and, even if he hadn't already been able to smell it, he knew this one would be truly repulsive.

Finally, after what felt like minutes of pure bliss, the fart stopped. Gregory sighed in pleasure as he put his leg down. He could hear the man on the toilet, his unplanned victim, coughing and moaning. Standing there at the urinal, Gregory nearly came.

He held back, forcing himself not to squirt. He wanted to save that for later. He carefully pulled his throbbing cock back into his briefs and arranged it so that it didn't create a conspicuous bulge. He buttoned his trousers, zipped, and left the bathroom, smiling and happy that his farts had overwhelmed the stink of the other man's shit.

As he grabbed his cart he realized that, as much as he liked farting around, he really did need to pick up some groceries. He chuckled to himself as he turned the cart around and headed back to the produce section. He would save up his gas for the checkout line.

Twenty minutes later he stood in line behind an old woman digging coupons from her purse. He was next in line and, as he piled his purchases onto the conveyor belt, he observed the cashier. He was a handsome young man, mid 20s and was smiling indulgently as he scanned the seemingly endless stack of coupons from the old lady. He was the perfect target, trapped at the cash register. He would have to endure Gregory’s farts.

Gregory stood there, stomach rumbling. He was going to fart soon. After a few minutes, the old lady ran out of coupons, paid, and moved away with her purchases. He stepped forward gingerly, ass-cheeks tightly clenched, and got ready to release.

He exchanged pleasantries with the young man, Brian, according to his name tag, and waited for him to start scanning. As Gregory watched the man's hand get a box of cereal and move it to the scanner, he got ready to push out a blast. Timing his fart so that it would come out just as the machine beeped, he let go.

A hard, hissing fart escaped from between his cheeks, the sound lost to the hustle and bustle of noise in the store. Brian didn't notice. At first. Then, as he was punching in the item code for some oranges, his eyes narrowed. He had smelled the fart.

Gregory struggled to keep his face impassive as Brian gave a dirty look to the man next in line, a redneck in overalls who looked all too willing to fart in public. His cock twitched. He knew he was going to cum soon.

As Brian rang up the total, Gregory farted again, a whisper of sound passing between his cheeks. His cock shuddered as the gas seeped from his hole. He reached his pocket for his wallet and had to resist the urge to give his dick a tweak. He wanted to fart some more before he shot his load. He wanted the cashier to really experience his gas. He stalled for a bit.

He searched through his wallet for enough bills and, as he counted them out into the cashier's hand, he let another one go. His dick twitched as he placed the last bill and his fingers gently brushed the other man's hand. Then he started looking for exact change.

As he dug out a few quarters, he carefully let one of them slip between his fingers. It fell to the floor between his feet. He stepped back and squatted down to get it.

Just like they had done in the bread aisle, his cheeks spread apart inside his trousers and his asslips puckered, ready to blow a quiet kiss of a fart. He could fart out a strong one without worry of being heard above the din of the store. His fingers lifted the quarter and he let loose. It was silent but for a slight hiss. He knew it would be. His face broke into a wide smile as he squatted, the tickling sensation of his wind against his puckered hole sending pulses of pleasure straight to his cock.

As he stood back up, he caught a whiff of his gas. The burning stink of last night's curry filled his nostrils and made his engorged dick twitch. The tender head brushed the coarse cotton of his briefs and he exploded. Cum filled his underwear. He stood there, orgasming, squirting white-hot semen as he handed over the exact change. He couldn't keep the goofy smile off of his face. And he didn't care.

Brian handed over his receipt and Gregory quickly put his groceries into his cart. As much as he wanted to see the effect of his last fart on the young man, he had to get out of the store before his cum seeped through his trousers. He walked from the store, still smiling, and crossed the parking lot to his car. This had been a good trip.


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